The Big Adjustment

Well this one has been coming. And is a good 3 weeks over due. I apologize it really has been an adjustment for everyone.

Recently (the last day of March) I got to make a big change in not only my life, but for the wearer of little pajamas as well (lately its been little bat man pajamas). After searching for close to a year for full time employment, I finally got a job. The awesome adult kind with regualr hours, a 401k and benefits. I suppose many Mom's have these things long before becoming a Mom, and many leave them behind to be a Mom. I applaud those women, also where does your husband work and will they hire mine (well okay so he's not my husband)?

I got to enjoy 4 years of most of my days being with him. I went to school for about 3.5 of those years, and I got to do some contract work from home, but it wasn't paying the bills. I've been pretty anxious to establish financial stability for me and the little man since day one, but I knew it was only ever going to be possible with a degree. I sacrificed the degree I wanted for the degree that made sense. The one that allowed me to move home, for us to have the support and shelter of his grandparents, and even more importantly that I would finish quickly and become employable. Don't get me wrong I think about going back, but after 6 years of higher education that only accumulated into a AAS and a certificate, I'm a bit burnt out. Not to mention the loans.

Ahh the bills, as far as adjustments go that one has been easy to make. Money is going into his college fund, paying off my loans, and being spent on fun things left and right, all while still managing to save up to be able to move out. Me and my boys! I really am impatient and terrified by the prospect, but I know its exciting. I know little pajama is too. (Were still warming up to the D word, but its been uttered a few times.)

The adjustment from essentially being a student mom to a work from home mom was fantastic. While being a student he did go to day care, which I dont regret, and I expect any future children will go a few days a week as well. The real point is I use to get to be home with him MOST of the time. Now for 45 hours a week plus commute time I am not with him, and leaves us little weekday time for all the things we love to do.

I miss him and I am missing out on a lot, but the fact remains, there is a huge stress taken out of my life by having a good stable, living wage income. I am lucky enough to work for a big, yet very family oriented company, and a small department within it so I am able to run off for long lunches for Pre school functions and things of that nature when the occasion arises. Over all though I am on the cusp of thriving as a well adjusted, fairly successful young adult and single Mom. Mind you this is largely my perception of the situation versus what my own situation was, but I am proud of where I have gotten and I know its the best thing for me and the little man even if it means less time for us.

Its been harder on him. Schedules are different, he gets drug around more by grandma and grandpa. He is picked up and dropped off now by Grandma at preschool. I miss knowing whats going on, but he does like to tell me. He rarely naps now, I miss napping with him, in our chair. The most relaxing thing in the world is to have a sleeping child curled in your lap. (Its also a good excuse to take a nap your self or read a book).

I guess most importantly though the real point is we are adjusting. Mommy is a bit more tired, and cranky, but he wakes up shortly after me most mornings. I hear him sit at the top of the stairs babbling to the cat until I open the door and take him back down stairs. This means he gets to watch Curious George on a regular basis (This wasn't a part of the morning line up previously because it was ending as we got down stairs.) Despite me being uttlerly exhausted (Its gotten a little better) were doing okay. I miss the time with him, but luckily he is getting to spend this time with his Granparents before we move out.

The part of my day though usually goes like this as I get home "So, how was work?" his sweet little voice meets my ears, and I tell him about what I did, and ask about pre school. I' mfinding that this adjustment like with many others is all about finding a balance, and making sure the time we do get to spend together is of the best quality. I know were both still getting use to things, but we've both come a long way in the last two months, and I know things will get even better. I am lucky to have such a well adjusted kid, who can handle change even better than I give him credit for

This gem is from Memorial day, making the best out of our three day weekend, even though we were stuck in the car part of the afternoon. Sometime I will have to write about Tiger. Yes that's its name. 

The Unlisted Public Play Rules for the Big People

Sorry this post is going up so late in the week. The last few weeks have been complete chaos. I finally started my new job, and there will be a blog post about my adjustment to a 8-5 from working at home soon. I feel it was too early for that as I don't really know for sure how either of us is adjusting yet, other than that I am dead tired. I've racked my brain all week trying to figure out what I felt the need to discuss when inspiration came this evening.

It was not a normal Thursday. I worked all day, and then rushed home so I could accompany my little P to soccer practice. Which was typical, but due to the weather we kept it short as it was drizzly rainy and in general a little cold this week. My sister and her husband bought all of us dinner though, at a pretty cool, but sadly very busy kid friendly pub. Over all my experience was good. Little PJ had a great time.

I however cant seem to relax. In their kids play space in a few different corners of different dining areas they have toys, most of which are perfect for a preschool or early elementary age child. There are rules posted near by. I made sure Powell followed them, as his Mom that's just one of the many ways I can protect him. Follow the rules, stay safe be kind and courteous. The issue wasn't with the rules, they were there to keep everyone safe, probably including the waiters. Two rules really, don't climb and walk. I suppose there were probably others but those seemed to be the issue. Unfortunately for us, it happened to be a night that a local lacrosse club must have decided they all needed to be there. Everyone other than us seemed to know everyone else. Of course all these kids seemed way ages out of the preschool aged toys my, huh 4 year old was playing with. I believe I saw board games and other things in the lobby that could be brought to tables for older children. As the group of loud and very large children congregated where my son was playing, I of course kept my distance, but kept a watchful eye. I had to, because if one of those kids had tried even once to tease my child, or for a second I thought he was in danger it was time to put a stop to it.

As the group of children grew, so did the loud group of parents who managed to be conveniently located in-between me and where my child was playing. I managed to maintain my line of sight however and just ignored it. After a bit of the big kids running from play place to play place the waitress told them to stop running, twice. Not even ONE of their parents spoke up, where they all just that out of tune? Will someday feel like I can check out that much while my kid plays with his friends. I hope the answer is no. If for no other reason than its highly disrespectful to the people who have to keep telling your child to stop, not to mention to the other parents who are around who don't necessarily feel safe while our child is near your unruly child. I guess the fact that they were having a beer is not a good enough excuse to me for these parents to check out, neither is not wanting to embarrass their children in front of their peers. I discussed this with my parents while we sat at the table. One father, rather than scolding his child when the WAITRESS told the big kids they needed to stop climbing, when he heard us complaining about it turned to me, a tiny little 24 year old single mom and goes "Is there a problem?" He was the big A type personality father and I felt intimidated so all I said was "No" and shook my head innocently. (I then went and pulled the plug on Powell playing in that area because I was feeling increasingly less comfortable with him playing over there, they were rocking one of the fisher price kitchens, and climbing on walls, if the kitchen hadn't fallen on Powell he was likely to get a shoe to the face so I pulled the plug) Inside my head while telling this father there wasn't a problem I was actually screaming "Yes I don't feel like my small child is safe because no one is making those children follow the rules, and I really don't need a rendition of Lord of the Flies to play out in this pub while I watch!"... Sigh NEXT TIME I will say something like that. Also why can't kids just naturally read the rules posted on the wall and follow them?  I suppose because their parents never taught them too. Rules are there for a reason.

A Pre-Schooler's Drama

          Pre school. My little man has never been so proud of anything as he is about the fact that he goes to school. P loves to tell people about his school, and his blue back pack it has a monster on it. When you're 3 and 4, school is awesome. Of course he starts at 8:30 and only goes until 11:15. So three hours, 3 days a week. Little does he know they will only add the hours up over the years, but then maybe in college he can get a sweet schedule like that again. I don't remember much from pre-school. I remember laughter fun, recess, and the loft full of stuffed animals that was in the classroom. I've always tried to avoid drama, I suppose.
          P however is very dramatic and very serious. I'm sure I will post about what he is like while playing soccer soon, as soccer season just started again. His preschool operates with a drive thru system. It's pretty sweet, and I love it, so I pick him up, get a quick ear full from the teacher about the day and we head out on our way. I try to get some info from him about the day on the way home. we talk about snack, recess, and his friends during this time. It surprises me how little he wants to talk about the things he learned that day at school, or his friends. We always start with snack. At the beginning of 2014 on one such pick up his teacher informed me that he had become pretty close with a little girl. Each month at sing they sit next to each other as the class performs for their parents. Its quite cute. Earlier this month his little lady went on vacation, he asked if she would be back everyday I brought him until she was. At the end of the week she was back we had this conversation on the way to the boyfriends.
P: I really miss (little girl). *insert dramatic 4 year old sniffle here.*
Me: Well isn't she back from vacation you got to play with her just this morning right?
P: Yes, but I love her.
Me: Well don't you love me too, you get to spend the weekend with Mommy. (I walked right into the trap)
P: No, I only love her.

It pierced my heart and I couldn't help but envision the never ending amount of romantic doom, and broken hearts that will someday befall my sweet little, love sick man. It must be hard to be little. I mean there is SO much he has to learn about life, and love. Friends and enemies. There is only so much you can teach a child. As it turned out though maybe this little girl isn't quite the threat to my position as his main gal.

The following week at the end of the week I picked him up from school. The conversation went as such on the short drive home.
Me: Did you play with ___ today?
P: No we are not friends any more.
Me: Did you choose that? Are you sure you don't want to be friends with her anymore?
P: She was playing with someone else.
Me: Did you ask her to play with you today?
P: She didn't want to.

As it turns out they did play again, but I don't know where his heart lies. He talks about her less, she plays with the girls more, and he seems to be making a few new friends. I sing him the friendship song, but I doubt it makes much sense. I use to sing it in girl scouts but I'm not sure it made a lot of sense to me until I was older, and began to cultivating friendships, and realized that some while existent slip to the back burner. I just hope I can teach him to be patient with people, and that while one of his friends doesn't want to play with him one day, doesn't mean they don't want to on another day. I also hope he grows up more fearless than I was in my school age. Making friends was always hard, the simple going up to a classmate and asking if they wanted to play was never easy for me. I hope it is for him. I also hope he realizes he has enough capacity to love so that he cultivates more meaningful friendships through his life. Those are all lessons that he cant learn from school I guess. Just age an experience.

In other news, and another topic that is soon to come I am sure. I am about to be making the switch from mostly at home mom, to working mom. The transition has me feeling pretty nervous I know we will be okay though.

In other news and to come, are pictures of my little mans redone room which is nearly done. Some food for thought, Why can't picture books have thick enough spines in paperback version to be able to read the spine on a shelf. It is so frustrating!