Muddling Through Whats Best for the Kid

I think one of the universal truths for all parents is that we want to do the very best thing for our children. I think even the parents who don't seem to care they at least WANT to do the best thing.
I hate this term, and I hate that I adhere to it completely by nature, but I am going to out myself. I largely adhere to attachment parenting. This meant that my little PJ slept with me nightly for three years of his life, and still comes into my bed most nights, and he nursed until he was 2 and half, now that puts many parents to shame, but it also isn't nearly as long as some mothers choose to nurse. If your going to judge me or anyone for that, JUST DON'T IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. We are all just trying to do the best we can though


...Well sigh, I got distracted while writing that. And now that its a week later, I will get to the point, and refocus this post. (me focus HAHAHA)
Last Friday, my little man had to get some dental work done. He has soft enamel. On top of that my allowing him to breast feed for a somewhat extended period of time didn't help. I brushed his teeth (most of the time) but he had to have something fixed on each of his teeth. The good news is that the work done ended up being much less serious than they have anticipated. It was still time consuming and they put him under general anesthesia for the procedure.

It was by far the scariest decision I have had to make for him. It took a lot of weighing logic versus comfort versus common sense. I ultimately decided it wouldn't be worth it to make him go in for 6 different visits, and likely ruining his enjoyment of going to the dentist in the process. We had to do the continual visits to the doctors for nearly a year while he was diagnosed failure to thrive. It wasnt easy, by the time we were done with that he hated the scale. He's much better about it now two years later (also two years without monthly visits to the doctors for weigh ins).

I think as a parent one of the hardest things is trusting your intuition. My little PJ was absolutely fine, and I am ultimately pleased with the decision I made, but I did my research and made sure I trusted the doctors who were involved. I was lucky to have people who supported my decision and tried to support me. Thats whats the most important, there is so much internal second guessing that happens with me (and I would imagine most parents) when it comes to the health of our children so anyone who makes that more difficult (who has very little actual regard for the child) should be banned from life. Judging people for the tough decisions they make will never make them feel better. Ultimately you have to follow your gut and hope that the path is clear.

In other news BRUSH YOUR KIDS TEETH AND TAKE THEM TO THE DENTIST!!! Man its expensive to not.... I know theres a straw in the way (for chocolate milk) but they are so much smoother now that they dont have patches of enamel missing. He did so well and I am so proud of him!

The Unlisted Public Play Rules for the Big People

Sorry this post is going up so late in the week. The last few weeks have been complete chaos. I finally started my new job, and there will be a blog post about my adjustment to a 8-5 from working at home soon. I feel it was too early for that as I don't really know for sure how either of us is adjusting yet, other than that I am dead tired. I've racked my brain all week trying to figure out what I felt the need to discuss when inspiration came this evening.

It was not a normal Thursday. I worked all day, and then rushed home so I could accompany my little P to soccer practice. Which was typical, but due to the weather we kept it short as it was drizzly rainy and in general a little cold this week. My sister and her husband bought all of us dinner though, at a pretty cool, but sadly very busy kid friendly pub. Over all my experience was good. Little PJ had a great time.

I however cant seem to relax. In their kids play space in a few different corners of different dining areas they have toys, most of which are perfect for a preschool or early elementary age child. There are rules posted near by. I made sure Powell followed them, as his Mom that's just one of the many ways I can protect him. Follow the rules, stay safe be kind and courteous. The issue wasn't with the rules, they were there to keep everyone safe, probably including the waiters. Two rules really, don't climb and walk. I suppose there were probably others but those seemed to be the issue. Unfortunately for us, it happened to be a night that a local lacrosse club must have decided they all needed to be there. Everyone other than us seemed to know everyone else. Of course all these kids seemed way ages out of the preschool aged toys my, huh 4 year old was playing with. I believe I saw board games and other things in the lobby that could be brought to tables for older children. As the group of loud and very large children congregated where my son was playing, I of course kept my distance, but kept a watchful eye. I had to, because if one of those kids had tried even once to tease my child, or for a second I thought he was in danger it was time to put a stop to it.

As the group of children grew, so did the loud group of parents who managed to be conveniently located in-between me and where my child was playing. I managed to maintain my line of sight however and just ignored it. After a bit of the big kids running from play place to play place the waitress told them to stop running, twice. Not even ONE of their parents spoke up, where they all just that out of tune? Will someday feel like I can check out that much while my kid plays with his friends. I hope the answer is no. If for no other reason than its highly disrespectful to the people who have to keep telling your child to stop, not to mention to the other parents who are around who don't necessarily feel safe while our child is near your unruly child. I guess the fact that they were having a beer is not a good enough excuse to me for these parents to check out, neither is not wanting to embarrass their children in front of their peers. I discussed this with my parents while we sat at the table. One father, rather than scolding his child when the WAITRESS told the big kids they needed to stop climbing, when he heard us complaining about it turned to me, a tiny little 24 year old single mom and goes "Is there a problem?" He was the big A type personality father and I felt intimidated so all I said was "No" and shook my head innocently. (I then went and pulled the plug on Powell playing in that area because I was feeling increasingly less comfortable with him playing over there, they were rocking one of the fisher price kitchens, and climbing on walls, if the kitchen hadn't fallen on Powell he was likely to get a shoe to the face so I pulled the plug) Inside my head while telling this father there wasn't a problem I was actually screaming "Yes I don't feel like my small child is safe because no one is making those children follow the rules, and I really don't need a rendition of Lord of the Flies to play out in this pub while I watch!"... Sigh NEXT TIME I will say something like that. Also why can't kids just naturally read the rules posted on the wall and follow them?  I suppose because their parents never taught them too. Rules are there for a reason.