Being a Mom is just about my favorite thing. I've mentioned before that out of all of the things in my life that I've contemplated doing, being a mom was never one I questioned. One way or another someday I was going to be a mom.
Just under 7 years ago (HAS IT SERIOUSLY BEEN THAT LONG SINCE I FOUND I WAS PREGNANT WITH LITTLE PAJAMA!?!) I unexpectedly found myself pregnant with little Pajama, at just barely 20, and still very much in school, and very much single I remember that positive pregnancy test probably more clearly than anything else. It was one of the most defining moments in my life, and as anyone who has ever had a positive pregnancy test that was taken weeks after your LMP you know how fast that second line shows up (REALLY FAST) there was no waiting, there was the result I was going to have a baby, I was going to be a mom. (Don't get me wrong I am very pro choice, but there was no contemplation there for me for any other choice.) There I was with the one thing at my young age I knew I had always wanted, but so was not where I wanted to be in my life. I cried, like a lot. (Thank goodness for awesome room mates). I knew in that moment I wouldn't ever put myself (or a child) in that position again.
In 2010 I welcomed little pajama into my life, and let everything change. I got a degree a few years later, and after the degree I got a boy friend. That boy friend became my fiance and then back in January of this year we got married. Guess what! Now I get to be a mom again! Everything is happy this time, and little pajama gets to be a big brother, and he is going to be totally awesome at it.
That being said I am at the tail of my first trimester. Nausea is mostly subsiding, and the fatigue is ebbing (for the most part - but lets face it I've been tired since that first pregnancy test; its part of parenthood!) I've thrown up less than I did in my first pregnancy but the nausea has been way way worse. I also have a job now. So that's totally different. Telling your boss, and co-workers your pregnant is way harder than I expected it to be (I still haven't told my workers honestly-- my boss who I'm closer with knows as well as HR but like it doesn't come up organically when you work with middle aged men it just doesn't.). I still have to figure out FMLA and how much I can actually afford to take, but that's another post ( a likely very ranty post).
I've also over all been far less emotional - honestly I think I'm to tired for it. There was admittedly one break down where I was upset with Daddy Pajamas and I melted into a puddle crying and screaming at him at the foot of our bed.. like onto the floor at the foot of our bed. I don't for the life of me remember what I was upset about (it was REALLY irrational) it passed quickly and all was forgiven. But no tears over things like the Incredibles which turned me into a blubbering mess during my first pregnancy.
Some things that will definitely be different this time, I have a house I can actually put baby things in! I have a whole room I can put a baby in with its things! (Trust me I am fully aware though that despite the being growing inside of me will have its own bed I'm still going to co-sleep so maybe we will end up putting Daddy Pajamas in the baby's room instead! jk dear.. I think) This means lots of research, I have this whole compulsion to like "do things the right way this time" whatever that means.
I still have some of my loved products from the first time around, crib, awesome Eddie Bower high chair (my kitchen accidentally matches this high chair...or my tastes haven't changed much either way its cool!), and a nice jogging stroller plus a few other items. But this all also means I've done this rodeo and I've learned a lot in my 6+ years of parenting, but a lot has changed in whats available too.
At least I know more about what I want versus what an inexperienced parent may think they want (Me included!) I'm excited to have the chance to get to do things "the right way" this time.
Its going to be a fun ride, so we'll see now that its all public like, I can try and post more.
